in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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