my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize