she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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