Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize