am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize