There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize