i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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