he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize