So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
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he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
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mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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