Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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