She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She bit a glass in half.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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