My hand turned me down
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize