She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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