wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
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Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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