I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize