she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize