Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize