I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
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I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
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I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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