It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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