6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize