can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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