Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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