someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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