your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize