you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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