i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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