exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
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Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
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They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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