i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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