Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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