will power is for people who don't want to get laid
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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