Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
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