i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
