Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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