he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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