Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize