I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize