the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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