Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize