i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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