i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
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You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
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It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize