Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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