I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize