ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize