Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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