hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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