I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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