Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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