Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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