haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize