Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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